Are You Unlikable?

Are you likable, or unlikable? Forbes recently published the results of a study by UCLA on what makes a person one or the other. Let’s see where we fall, shall we?

Likability? Determining that is pretty simple: the study shows that the key ingredients are sincerity, transparency and a capability of understanding others. All together it’s called emotional intelligence and out of a million people, the study found those with high emotional intelligence scores didn’t just outperform those without a little…they outperformed them by a lot.

But what makes someone unlikable? According to the research, there are nine factors.

  1. Humble-bragging.  For example, someone who talks about how sore they are after a big workout…all they really want you to know is …they work out. Someone who talks about needing to take their sports car into the shop…they just want you to know they have a sports car.
  2. Being too serious. Passion and focus are great, essential, even. But you have to lighten up once in awhile
  3. Not being interested in other person. Nobody likes to be on the receiving end of a one way conversation.
  4. Emotional outbursts. Short temper, over-reacting to a situation, yelling at people in front of others will win you no friends or respect, and will lose you plenty.
  5. Whipping out your phone. Put it down. Listen. See #3 if you need any other tips.
  6. Name dropping. “You know, I was talking to Lady Antebellum just a couple weeks ago about men’s rompers and ….”
  7. Gossiping. If you’re talking negatively about others, people are naturally gonna wonder if you talk that way about them.
  8. Having a closed mind. You can’t stay stuck in the past. Nobody wants to stay there with you.
  9. Oversharing. First date is probably not the time to talk about that weird skin tag you have on the back of your knee that looks like Blake Shelton.

Having a few of these traits doesn’t necessarily make you unlikable, but they may be areas that you can work on. And that’s the good news: if you do see some of these traits, and are able to be honest with yourself, you can improve. You can become more likable.

But, still, you might want to keep that skin tag thing to yourself.

More from Tom Mailey
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