Of All The Ways To Die, Hit By Cars While Dressed Up Like Sasquatch Shouldn’t Be One

If you listen to the Pat and Tom show with any regularity, you may know that I sort of, kind of, mostly believe in Sasquatch. Joke if you want, I understand. But I think there is…or at least was…something out there. There are too many reports. Heck, my dad saw one back in 1958 while driving a road near Mt. St. Helens. My dad wouldn’t lie!

The truth is, I want there to be Sasquatches, because there is so little mystery left in this world. But, I’ll admit, stories like this don’t help.

A Missoula Montana television station (KTMF) is reporting that a 44 year old man was, tragically, struck by two cars and killed while standing on the side of a busy highway at night. A Montana Highway Patrol spokesperson says the victim was (deep breath) dressed up as Sasquatch in an apparent attempt to “get the attention of passing motorists and, through I don’t know what means, make them feel like they saw bigfoot or Sasquatch.” The man, in a costume made from a ghillie suit, was first struck by one car, then run over by another. It’s terribly tragic.

It also doesn’t help the Sasquatch narrative. Like, at all.

First of all, Sasquatches, if they exist, don’t get hit by cars. They just don’t. They don’t even get spotted very much on the side of busy highways and those that are, are probably just dudes dressed up in costumes. Real bigfoots are back in the woods, off dirt roads and trails and such.

Second, anybody trying to fake people into thinking they’re seeing a Sasquatch is putting their life on the line because A) lots of folks in Sasquatch country carry guns B) if Sasquatches do exist, what would happen if a real one saw a guy dressed up as one? I’m not sure but I’d bet one of two things: it could fight him over territory or, worse, try to mate with him. Either way, the likely outcome for Sasquatch costume guy isn’t good.

Third, it just makes people believe in bigfoot all the less, making it too easy to laugh, point and say, see? It’s just a guy in a modified ghillie suit. Now come back inside and watch more TV.

So, look, the existence of Sasquatch is already in doubt enough. We don’t need anyone else jeopardizing their own life to just further erode belief in a mythical creature that may or may not (or may have at one time) existed.

So, RIP, Sasquatch costume guy. I’m sure you thought what you were engaging in was just good harmless fun. But it wasn’t, and hopefully yours will be a lesson to all other potential pranksters: leave any future Sasquatch appearances to actual Sasquatches, and that way you’ll live a good long time…maybe even long enough to see one for yourself.







More from Tom Mailey

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